On Saturday afternoon, I went in to central London as I am perfectly entitled to do.
I went to the London Graphic Centre and bought a desk tidy in the shape of a large pencil sharpener:
After that, I went to the Cross Keys pub on Endell Street, where I was very impressed by the selection of switches behind the bar:
From there, I walked to Waterloo station to get the train home. I walked up the steps to the station and entered through the “Victory Arch” entrance (entrance 5 on this map). As I entered the station, a group of men started chanting “YOU FAGGOT! YOU FAGGOT!” at me. I stopped. I walked over to them.
“Sorry, what?” I said.
“What’s your problem?” replied the leader of the group.
“I just want to know what it was you were shouting at me. It was ‘You faggot’, wasn’t it? Why did you shout that at me?”
“It wasn’t ‘You faggot’, it was ‘You maggot'” lied a girl who was with the group.
“No, it wasn’t ‘You maggot’, it was ‘You faggot’. You chanted ‘You faggot’ at me”
“Listen mate, fuck off” said the group leader, ignoring the girl’s disingenuous and flawed attempt to resolve the tension, although quite why she thought I’d consider it acceptable for a group of people to chant “You maggot” at me is a mystery.
“No, I won’t fuck off. You called me a ‘faggot’. Why do you think that’s OK to shout at someone?”
By this point, the group leader was becoming visibly angry. He pushed me. He told me to fuck off. I refused to fuck off. He pushed me again. I asked him to stop pushing me. He was standing so close to me that I could smell his breath. His breath stank. I’m not sure quite how to describe the stink. It would be glib to describe it simply as the stench of hatred and ignorance. It was more than that. There was a horrible warmth to it as well. Not an emotional warmth, a physical warmth. I could feel the heat of his breath on my skin, and each time he spoke, I could feel tiny dots of spit landing on my face. And then there was this awful smell. I kept moving back but he’d move even closer. I briefly considered explaining to him that he had really foul breath, but decided against it. In retrospect, I think this was probably the right decision.
“Look mate,” one of his friends came over and tried to reason with me, “you’ve got two options. Either you fuck off or he drags you outside and kicks the shit out of you”.
“No, there’s another option. You could apologise for what you said.”
This suggestion was rejected as the group leader repeated the original two options a second time.
“What about my option?” I asked.
“Fuck off” came the reply. He shoved me to the ground1. I landed on my elbow. It hurt.
I was on the floor. I was in shock. I stood up. A man came over to us. He showed some sort of ID to the man with the bad breath. He said he was a policeman. The man with the bad breath and his friends walked off. The man with the ID started to walk away. “Hold on,” I said, “so you’re a policeman?”
“Leave it” he replied.
“No, if you’re a policeman, shouldn’t you have done something sooner, before I got shoved to the ground?”
“I just saved you from getting a kicking.”
“Well, can you give me your name or something?”
He ignored me and walked off. I followed him. I never saw his ID. Maybe he wasn’t a policeman at all, he just had some sort of identification which looked police-ish. Maybe he was a traffic warden or something like that. But then that would be a bit of a weird thing to do. They could easily have realised he wasn’t a policeman and beat him up as well. So was he a policeman? And if so, surely he should have been more helpful? He disappeared down the escalator. Should I have been grateful for his intervention or resentful for his unwillingness to explain who he was?
I went to the information desk. I said I wanted to report a crime and asked where I needed to go. “You go out through Exit 2, down the escalator, turn right and then follow the signs”. This is important to remember. If you are attacked on the concourse of Waterloo station and want to report a crime, simply go out through Exit 2, go down the escalator, turn right and then follow the signs. I went out through Exit 2, went down the escalator, turned right and followed the signs. I found a door with a buzzer. It wasn’t really very clear which button I was supposed to press. Fortunately, there was a policeman standing outside. “Hi,” I said, “I want to report a crime, do you know which button I’m meant to press or who I’m supposed to talk to?”
“That would be me,” he replied and opened the door.
Now, if you are ever assaulted in or around Waterloo station, and you go out through Exit 2, down the escalator, turn right and follow the signs to the British Transport Police offices, I cannot recommend PC Rakesh Phian highly enough. He was lovely. Calm and understanding, he listened patiently to what I had to say. He was really nice. I think he even offered me a cup of tea. As I explained what happened, all the emotions I’d managed to keep contained up until that point came out. The anger, the fear, the frustration. I felt like an idiot for letting all this happen. Then I felt angry at myself for thinking that. I was the fucking victim here.
In a way, I knew it was futile reporting this incident to the police. You could even argue that given the fact I wasn’t actually hurt, reporting it is a waste of police resources. But I don’t think it is. I think it’s important. It’s crucial. It is fucking unacceptable for anyone to shout abuse at anyone in this way. I could have ignored the abuse, I could have ignored the fact I was physically assaulted. But to do so is to is to ignore prejudice in its most explicit form. We have a duty to react to this sort of stuff whenever we see it. An obligation. We need to make it clear that we are not going to fucking take this any more. We are going to answer back. Because if we don’t, we’re saying this is OK. That this is how life is.
I think that’s wrong. I won’t accept that.
——
NOTES
1 I can’t really remember what happened at this point when he pushed me. I thought he sort of just shoved me to the floor, but the next morning, I realised that one of the buttons had come off my shirt, so I guess he must have sort of grabbed me and then pushed me over.
You’re a brave man, James Ward. The pencil sharpener-shaped desk tidy aspect of the story broke my heart a little.
this is a fantastic post, james. i’m glad you’re ok, and you’re right, you absolutely did the right thing by reporting it.
What an entirely horrid encounter. It may (unfortunately) have been futile reporting it, but you were totally right to do so. I think you were very brave, and I hope your desk tidy reminds you of that every time you look at it.
Good for you for going to the police, but I agree, they usually say nice things and do nothing. I’ve reported three hate crimes so far and nothing has come from it. They mouthe platitudes, but they do jack shit to actually help us. If I’d been abused on the basis of my race or religion, the person would be behind bars now. And we think we’ve come so far?
Good post and I’m sorry for Mr Ward. I have to disagree with Rod though. Homophobic or perceived homophobic assaults are taking seriously. But not all crime can be solved. CCTV is a good tool but can’t solve crime.
Aggression from strangers has a deep effect, things seem so out of control, it makes you feel all the powerlessness of childhood, waves of anger and blame storm about. Horrible.
I don’t like it when bad things happen to you James. It’s rotten.
You’re right of course. And brave. Not an easy thing to stand there and ask someone to repeat the abuse they’ve just hurled at you. Especially when there’s lots of them and one of you. You done good.
Well done James. I’m impressed you stood up to them. I’m less impressed by the pencil sharpener but no one is perfect.
James! I hope you feel better after what sounds like a nasty encounter with some scumbags. Let’s hope that the ever present CCTV will be of use.
The more people who report things like this the faster it will become outrageous that nothing is done about it. They can’t ignore people forever. I am very glad you weren’t badly injured x
Well done for standing up to them. To make prosecution more likely, I suggest adopting a homosexual lifestyle, thus making it retroactively a hate crime rather than a simple assault.
I wouldn’t have stopped to reason with these people. People who act like that almost always lack the intelligence to see things from someone else’s point of view. The larger the group gets, the effect seems to increase exponentially. You’re a braver man than me.
Oh what a horrible thing to have had to go through. Personally I would have developed selective deafness, ducked out of there as quickly as possible and then thought of them as the bunch of losers they are. At least you got a sympathetic ear from the policeman and your reluctant guardian angel stopped things from getting much worse, so please take the positives from that. You also got a very cool pencil sharpener shaped tidy which I’m very envious of. You’ve also got a new follower because i like your beautiful writing style. Have a happy day. :)
I’m so surprised, I’ve used Waterloo station, day and night, almost every day for three years without seeing anything like this! The amount of times I’ve stumbled through there, I would make an easy target. I don’t know if it helps but you must have been astronomically unlucky. That’s absolutely disgusting behaviour and you did the right thing to report it; the police presence there seems good (It seems to be the one place where they’ve managed to use police to make a place feel safe rather than stiflingly watched) so reporting incidents will keep their numbers up and keep them patrolling for these sorts of troublemakers.
I was secretly hoping you’re some kind of martial arts 7th dan person who could easily have taken on the entire group of (at the risk of sounding judgemental) dickheads. Huge respect and a promise to return and read more of your stuff.
I did a self-defence course a couple of years ago. The most important, most frequently emphasised aspect of it was about keeping yourself safe and avoiding danger. You were brave to take them on but also put yourself at risk of really serious assault or even death. I know it’s hard but, you know, sometimes.. just walk away? No confrontation, however much they deserve it, will ever stop people behaving/thinking like tossers.
I was just wondering if you got the pencils with the pencil sharpener or whether you already has them at home?
Fun-ney! You are either a psycho/sociopath without a shred of empathy or a very, very witty person. I think it’s the latter.
I saw this link on Twitter, and while I understand the maxim of keeping safe, I love the fact that you fronted them. Hateful and ignorant they may be but you called them on their behavioiur and when they re-tell their tale it will be hard to square the fact that the bloke they were abusing was brave enough to tackle them. Next time, take your pencil sharpener and put his head in it. I’m sure he’ll get the point.
Although I’m a complete stranger, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry you were physically attacked like this after challenging verbal abuse. You must be very shaken up, but I hope you can take heart from the fact that someone stepped in (whether a policeman or not) after it got physical. Take care.
You might be interested, though they are specifically aimed at female street harrassment, in ihollaback. I am glad you are okay James.
I’m a complete stranger too, but I saw this tweeted by a twitter contact and I just want to reiterate how brave you were and how admirably you behaved. I think you did the right thing, although it would also have been justified to have walked on and ignored them.
I am impressed that you stood up to them *and* impressed by the desk tidy.
Just wanted to say that you rock. And I’ve been there.
Well done, James. I have confronted people indulging in abusive behaviour towards myself and others and have been threatened myself, but I still do it. The more people ignore behaviour like this, the “acceptable” it becomes. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not, it’s still unacceptable to yell foul things at someone in a public place.
Nice one James. Your post reminded me of Jarvis Cocker’s lyrics, which were something of an anthem for me growing up.
The future’s owned by you and me.
There won’t be fighting in the street.
They think they’ve got us beat, but revenge is going to be so sweet.
We’re making a move, we’re making it now, we’re coming out of the side-lines.
Just put your hands up – it’s a raid yeah:
We want your homes, we want your lives,
we want the things you won’t allow us.
We won’t use guns, we won’t use bombs
We’ll use the one thing we’ve got more of – that’s our minds.
Good on ya man! we need more people to stand up Thanks
Thanks for taking the time to write about this so brilliantly. Part of me wants to give you a great big hug. Part of me wants to say well done for opening up a conversation with someone (a gang of someones actually which is much harder!) who was being so vile. And part of me wants to say I have some ideas about how you could have maybe even have avoided getting knocked on the floor. But overall, I just want to say well done. You’re a good man.
That was very brave of you, I could’t have just gone up to them!
Good for you, James. Have you considered developing really bad breath yourself? It would seem like a low-risk strategy for dealing with violent people, being able to propel a cloud of noxious gas at them on demand. I remember reading a book many years ago which claimed this was a genuine form of martial art.
Glad you weren’t seriously hurt, anyway. Horrible people. I hope they develop boils.
I tracked down the deadly breath book, by the way: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0804816085/
The same thing happened to me about 4 weeks ago in Brighton. Same shouting, same aggressive behaviour, but I walked away from the situation and got hit from behind instead. Fractured my arm in two places, have muscle damage in my shoulder and was blue and black from head to toe. Some pretty impressive scarring on my arm too. However, I, stupidly, didn’t report it to the police. Like you, I can’t really remember what happened after I was pushed down, so I felt ridiculous reporting it. I got up and walked over to a regular bar and the security guard could see I was bleeding etc and when he asked what was wrong I just burst into tears. Now, I’m 6 foot 1 and not the most petite person in the world, but there’s something about coming up against that kind of hate and ignorance that totally un-mans a person.
Glad you got nothing worse that a shove and a torn button though. There are some right assholes in the world.
This is pure assault! May your body heal quickly and your heart heal without bitterness. Blessings.
You, my friend, are why I get up in the morning and enjoy the amazingness of ppl around me. I love the way you still put humour in your account. You’re obviously very intelligent and also very brave because let’s face it, groups are bloody intimidating- no matter the age of the ppl in it! Well done and keep fighting!! :D
You’re a brave man, James. An inspiration. Because the fact is unless each and every one of us stands up to this sortta crap , then the values of the people who peddle it will ultimately triumph over values of common decency. I got knocked about (I won’t say beaten up because, in truth, I was big enough to look after myself) some years ago in Charing Cross station when I attempted to report a gang of ‘dippers’ (pickpockets) to the Transport Police. That wasn’t a matter of such principle as your stand was, but I would still do it again. And I’d like to think that if I’d have been aware of what was happening to you in Waterloo I’d have stood by you even though I don’t know you from Adam.
Shocking brutality. Great blog post.
Well done. You were right to take the action that you took. I have been on the end of assault during a robbery. Adrenalin kicked in and there was no way I was going to let someone walk off with the bank holiday takings!! I got a bit of a battering and was a nervous wreck for six months, afraid of my own shadow, but I got him. I knocked off his glasses which had his DNA on them.
The police were brilliant, they caught him and he got sentenced to 3 1/2 years. Ok so he only did half of that, but I felt a minor victory for not letting him go. I got a commendation for my bravery. I call it my certificate of stupidity, ‘cos until he actually threatened to kill me, I was not going to let him go. Would I do it again? I would like to think not, but knowing me yes I probably would……
The earlier comment ref not getting involved is the best response. They will not learn anything from your confrontation and knifes are now commonly carried by these sort of numskulls. If really riled, ask police to check CCTV with you. If the incident was recorded, ask police to initiate a complaint there and then.
I’m perplexed. If someone yelled at me, “you *itch”, “you fatty”, “you homo” I’d walk away. First, they are obviously angry and insecure people needing something in their lives or they would not yell something negative and hurtful at strangers. Second, Do I really want people like that in my space? No, I want to avoid people like that as my space is reserved for people that enhance my life. Thirdly, by engaging them with comment and putting yourself in their space, you are accepting their comment as valid and meaningful in your life.
I’ve been called names since the sixth grade with the first recollection coming from a teacher. High school was terrible for slander and meanness from kids and adult alike. Teachers witnessed me being pushed down in the hallway with such force I had two hand-prints on my back. I stood up, dusted myself off and walked off without ever acknowledging the actions – the teachers said nothing also. I triumphed that day?? For me, an apology only needs to come from those I care about and/or when someone realizes they were hurtful and it is sincere. Even if they had apologized as you requested, would it have been valid?
You gave power to this group because you are sensitive to the word they chose to call you. If they’d had said, “you beast”, “you retard”, “you murderer” – would you have reacted the same?
Allow those that enhance your life to provide influence and joy, others – lift up a prayer with love and move on.
It’s all been said already but I’d like to add my thumbs up too. Especially for the tweet linking to the pansy project. Sorry you were put through that experience, well done for making a stand.
Oooh, except I don’t agree with the comment immediately preceding my own. In fact I think it’s bollix.
X
Dunia… I’ve been through a lot of abuse and this action and philosophy has served me well to live with the foundation of peace and joy regardless of my circumstances, even when people of evil and hating natures invade my space.
I’m very compassionate and hate to see people suffer because of their differences. Self imposing one to a cage in their genius is not benefiting to them or those they love. Obvious James should not have been yelled at nor pushed and had his shirt button ripped off… I’m simply offering a perspective to live above the short-comings and lack of love of others when possible. If someone approached my space – my safety or those I love – I’m a gnarly bear to deal with as I am extremely protective.
I didn’t trash anyone, their thoughts or James action… just hoping to share a seed that may produce options for living in the color of life and tranquility with delight. Bollix :), I don’t think so. Cheers to conversation and debates, especially when we are all on the same side of life – love unconditionally.
Fair enough Michelle, I just don’t agree with you but I shouldn’t have put it like that. it wasn’t your approach to life that I disagreed with, just that you were telling someone else what they should and should not have done.
You are right, we shouldn’t put up with this sort of abuse. As a woman I’ve been subjected to shouted abuse and harassment more times than I care to remember, but I’ve always walked away. God only knows what would have happened if I hadn’t. but because we always walk away and never confront them, it never stops.
I’m glad you came out of it with little more than a bit of a shock and a missing shirt button. Well done for standing up to them.
that just sums people up today! i am stranger to you too but saw your tweet on my feed… god it makes me so mad! I think you were crazy for saying something to them but secretly I am in awe of you! am loving the desk tidy..I want one! …be safe x
You have real guts,James. Not many people would have had the courage to question these people, but would have walked away, angry that they were afraid. This is the worst sort of bullying, loutish, ignorant behaviour and I totally understand your emotions. You were right to report it and I really respect the way you handled the whole situation. You have also written about it beautifully. Hope you are ok. Sarah
This is what’s wrong with this society, I’d have stuck my knuckle in his throat when he shoved his stinking face into my face. Until we take these fools on they’re going to go around doing these stupid macho stuff to people.
It sounds weird to say because I don’t know you. I’m proud of you, James. You had real guts to handle the situation as you did. It’s so difficult to stand up for yourself and keep your ground in those situations. You’re incredibly brave.
I haven’t experienced the same type of prejudice, but I have experienced street harassment. As a young girl living in a city, I get catcalled a lot. When I was fed up with it, I started doing research, and found ihollaback, which is a site that deals with raising awareness about street harassment. It’s a world wide thing.
I bring it up because I think you should submit this to their guest blog. As of right now, it deals pretty solely with female sexual harassment. However, I think it would be extremely beneficial to both causes if harassment incidents like this were also brought to light there. Harassment is harassment, despite gender, sexuality, or race.
Ugh, can’t stand people who pick at others for whatever reason (I don’t really know exactly who you are so I wouldn’t know the possible reason), don’t they have anything better to do?
Good on you for reporting it though, I know what it’s like to be assaulted and the reporting bit is sometimes the hardest part. Let’s hope they’re found or at least decide to pick on the wrong person.
This is the difference between you and I James. You are a big man, defend yourself.