COLD

I have a cold. It’s not a particularly bad cold, but you know how it is – when you have a cold you never look or feel your best and so I was hoping for some kind of very attractive option, perhaps a revolutionary new, easy to use oral spray that would form a protective barrier in my mouth to help shield me against the common cold. It was fortunate then that I happened to spot an advertisement for ColdZyme:IMG_2547 (2)The copy is very carefully worded to avoid saying anything. It’s a work of art, really.

ColdZyme can help shorten your cold if used at the first signs.

They aren’t saying ColdZyme will cure your cold, only shorten it, although it won’t actually shorten it, it will help to shorten it. But it’s not even guaranteed to help shorten it; they’re not saying that it will help shorten your cold, just that it can help to shorten your cold. Even then it can help to shorten your cold only if used at the first signs.

The statistic about Sweden is carefully worded too. They’ve used Sweden because Enzymatica, the company that produces ColdZyme is Swedish, although Professor Jon Bragi Bjarnason, the scientist who discovered the active ingredient was from Iceland:

In the 1970s, Professor Jon Bragi Bjarnason, an Icelandic scientist, noticed that employees of a fish-cleaning plant had unusually soft and undamaged hands. Considering that they cleaned fish all day, it seemed as if their hands should have shown cracks and cuts instead. Was there something in the fish that had a healing effect? The answer was yes. The research team was able to show that certain cold-adapted marine organisms contained an enzyme with good healing properties. The research and development process eventually led to a global patent on the marine enzyme – cold-adapted trypsin – that is extracted naturally as a by-product of cod processing and thus does not put a load on the marine ecosystem.

But you’ll note that they aren’t saying that they’ve sold 8.5million bottles, only 8.5million doses. According to the patient information leaflets on the Boots website, a 20ml bottle contains enough ColdZyme for 55 doses, whereas a 7ml bottle contains enough for 18 doses. I’m not sure of the split between 7ml and 20ml bottles in terms of sales (and Enzymatica’s financial reports are only available in Swedish) but it would suggest that in Sweden they sold somewhere between 154,546 and 472,223 bottles in total.

Of course, it’s too late for me now. In order to maximise my chances of ColdZyme helping to shorten my cold, I would have needed to use it at the first signs. I missed that window of opportunity. As the patient information leaflet states, you should start to use ColdZyme “as soon as possible after noticing symptoms of a cold” and “continue to use it until the symptoms are relieved”. You’re supposed to take one dose every two hours during the day, and then another dose just before going to bed. That’s about nine doses a day, or half a 7ml bottle (a fiver’s worth). “If the symptoms are not better within 10 days of starting the treatment, consult your doctor or health care provider” the leaflet says. That would be after ninety doses (2 x 20ml bottles – £31.98). I think colds generally go away by themselves within ten days or so, don’t they? I’ve had my cold for a few days now, I’ve already saved myself fifteen quid.

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4 Comment on “COLD

  1. Pingback: SIDE EFFECTS | JAMES WARD: I LIKE BORING THINGS

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