ENNUI 

I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s to do with how grim the news is all the time. Maybe it’s a sense of being bombarded with stuff on social media all the time. Maybe it’s just something that happens as you get older.

I don’t know.

I just feel like I’m getting more and more cynical. Fewer and fewer things seem to excite me. I’m so much harder to impress than I used to be. 

When I was younger, I’d see stuff all the time that would grab my attention and get me excited. Is it just the naivety of youth? Is it just that as you’re exposed to more stuff, you start to see echoes of the past in what once would have seemed original?

I genuinely don’t know what it is. I just feel a sense of emptiness or blankness. I just feel indifferent about everything. 

Like I could win the lottery and it wouldn’t excite me. I’d just worry about all of the associated admin. Or I could be at a party chatting to someone and he could say that he used to be married to Angelina Jolie or something and even then I think that I’d have to say that it didn’t impress me much.

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